my place

You never really find out how expendable you are to society until your gone. I have worked for “Corporate America” all my life. It’s a good thing that we have value in God. What a precious place to be. Lord, help me find rest there.

the body

I love my church. As flawed as it is. I think I love it more for its flaws than for it’s perfection. It is far from perfect, but a perfect God makes it out of imperfect people. That’s the beauty. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of great things going on there. My Pastor and his staff are God ordained. God’s ministry is alive and well. That’s why we’re there. We believe in what He is doing and want to be a part of it. But it’s just like every other church, flawed. I think the flaws are what make us vunerable and unique. It’s what gives us a need for a Savior. Just like an instrument with it’s distinctive patterns, our flaws give glory to its Creator.

I have learned a lot from my church. Yes, by sitting in the pew and hearing the truth of God’s Word boldly proclaimed, but more than that. It’s the people that make up the church. I didn’t used to fully understand the whole concept of the “body” of the church. Not that I totally comprehend it now, but I have a lot better grasp on it. I always understood the intellectual side of it, in my head, but I never got the heart and soul of it being fleshed out. I always got the fact that God was the “head” and we were the thumbs and elbows and so forth, but that was just it, facts. Facts that I had accepted, but never fully understood. (If I’m honest with myself, there are a lot of things in the church that I accept this same way, but those are other issues for another day).

My dad walked out on my mom and I when I was 15 months old and never looked back. He was always faithful with his child support check, but that was about it. I don’t say this to ridicule my dad. I love him. More importantly, God loves Him and has done some amazing things towards restoring our relationship. But I have learned that through our human nature we often attribute the characteristic of our earthly father to those of our heavenly Father. That is definitely a charge to myself and all the other fathers out there to strive to be a worthy example of Christ to the ones He has entrusted to us, because we don’t justly know how enormous the impact of how we lead our lives is to our little ones. Anyways, due to this stigma, I always had the image of a distant God, one that was out there, but I truly couldn’t relate to. One that came around on Holidays and would help bail you out if you needed, but that was about it.

Now, back to the “body”. The “body” is where God manifests Himself, or at least it is for me. That’s the “body” being fleshed out. He uses His people, as flawed as we are, to be His “body” here on earth. What an amazing picture. What an incredible calling. I have felt the presence of God near, and it’s not because of the work that I have done, but because of the work HE has done through HIS church.

So I could tell you that my church doesn’t play the style of worship that I want, that people don’t clap their hands enough, or that we don’t have enough small groups, but who cares? These are issues that divide. We are commanded to love, edify, lift up, and support one another, the “body”. That’s just it! It’s not about me or what I want, it’s about HIM and what HE desires. To see HIS body whole and functioning the way HE wants, so that we can affect the rest of the world. Instead of sitting in the pew saying, “I wish it were this way or that”, we should be uniting in love to tell the rest of those that don’t know this truth.

Here is my charge, to myself first, and then to believers. We might be the only “church” or “body” that the world sees. There are those that are out there that feel distant our completely dis-attached from God, and you might be the only link in their life. The answer is not to bring them to your church, but bring the church to them. We are the church. God didn’t say, “sit in your pews on Sunday, and bring people with you to hear your pastor proclaim the good news,” HE said, “Say among the nations, ‘The LORD reigns; Indeed, the world is firmly established, it will not be moved; He will judge the peoples with equity.” Psalm 96:10. “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20. We are just His vessel.

God is not distant. He “is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1. He “will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6-8. So I praise God for His church, and pray that I can be used in the most effective way to make His presence known.

random thoughts

I know it’s been forever since I posted last. I’m still trying to get used to this whole “blogg”ing thing. I have been harassed lately over my lack of blogging consistency. Just like in real life, I’m a blogging slacker. I’ve come to terms with it, so can you.

It’s really been a crazy past couple of weeks. Sometimes, I can’t tell if God is trying to teach me something, or punish me, or both. In reality, I know that he is always trying to teach me something, because He loves me and has my best interest at heart.

I have been convicted lately that I don’t have enough “worldly” friends. I don’t want to be guilty of surrounding myself in the “Christian bubble”. I would never want the world to look at me and think, he’s to “Christian” for me. If we truly are Christians, shouldn’t the world be drawn to us because of the love that we have, instead of repelled from us because we stand in judgment. He’s to worldly for me. He does drugs or cuses or smokes or whatever. Who cares? Of course they do, they are dead in sin. If we weren’t saved, we would do the same thing, and just hope that someone would come along and show us the truth. Judgment is God’s area; we are commanded to love unconditionally. People flocked to Christ. If we are His followers, shouldn’t we attrack people because of the love that we have for them, no matter what their deficiency is. I’m not good at that. I need to get better. I like worldly people. They’re not afraid to be who they are. I wish Christians could be more like that sometimes. Instead of hiding behind a façade of, “I’m perfect because I’m saved by grace”, I wish we could be more like, “hey listen, I’m just as screwed up as you are, but I know our Savior, that has saved me from all this, and He loves you more than you will ever know.” I don’t know maybe I’m the only one that feels that way.

They say on average we have the ability to impact at least 2 people a day. Either positively or negatively. I wonder what impact I have. Am I faithful to invest in lives? What kind of impact do I leave?

I love to read bumper stickers. You can tell a lot about people by their bumper sticker. That’s why I don’t have them on my car. I should get one that says, “Weak insignificant vessel who’s only true value, worth and identity is secured in the fact that he has been saved by the grace of God- on board”

I have a neighbor that likes to keep his yard-house-car-truck-dog immaculate. He will spend hours a week cleaning, grooming, mowing, pruning, washing, whatever... but what’s it all for. Image, perception, vanity. It makes me wonder sometimes why we spend so much time, dedication, and devotion on the things that are temporal, but neglect the things that are eternal, like our souls. I’m not saying don’t cut your grass because it’s all going to fade away one day (I hate to cut grass), but what if we placed as much emphasis on things that really mattered for eternity. Granted, my neighbor doesn’t know God, but I wonder if all his chores still leave him empty and wanting more. I know I’m guilty of dedicating my time and energy to things that don’t matter. Not all the time, but too much.

Anyway, that’s all the time I have for today. I’ll continue later. God bless.

long weekend

It was a long weekend. Jaci had her wisdom teeth taken out on Friday. All four. On top of that, Averi has been sick. Every time I laid to her down to sleep, which she desperately wanted and needed, she would wake up with coughing fits. Normally that would be no problem, but with Jaci (her primary caregiver) being lethargic and out of commission, it added a whole different element to being "daddy".

I have done a lot of thinking this weekend, especially during the night. I have been married to Jaci for 6 1/2 years now, and I still learn more about her every day, and plan to until the day I die. She is truly a remarkable woman. Here are some of my findings so far:

1. She is a lot tougher than I am. Not in size or brute force, but in endurance. Since we have been married she has had two screws put into her shoulder, endured to pregnancies and births, and recently had all her wisdom teeth taken out. And she bounced back quickly from all of them without complaint. If I had gone through any of this, I would have been a whinny pain in the butt, and taken three times as long to recover.

2. I know this sounds like a typical cliche, but she is "God made" mother. I couldn't imagine haven't children with anyone else but her. Especially when she is out of the picture. Her being out of commission this weekend helped me see how magnificent she is. She not only cares and loves our children, she makes me a better father.

3. She is a lot more patient than I am. No more needed to be said.

4. I might be the sole provider, but she is the anchor that holds this family together. God has used her to give life and breath to the verse: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD." Proverbs 18:22. I feel favored.

So needless to say, it was a long exhausting weekend, but in my reflection I found joy in Proverbs 5:18, "Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth."

Jaci, I love you!

here we go

I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm one of the most anti-social-internet-bear my soul-shed my propaganda, guys I know. Opinionated-yes, extraverted-no. The kind that mocks Facebook, Myspace, etc... and any other media that promotes the indulgence of self. But 'blogspot' seams to be a different kind of forum. So this is my lame attempt to jumping on the blogspot "bandwagon" (I'm still jaded toward Facebook and Myspace).

I recognize that God is doing things in our midst, and this has become an effective way for people to journal that and share their souls, without fear. I have genuinely been blessed by some of the things I have read, even by people that I didn't know. I didn't have to be their "friend" or invited into their page, I just read what was on their heart. That's the power of God to use this forum to impact others in a righteous way. Hopefully God can do the same through me. Who knows? All I am is a vacant vessel.